Im Ain't Beautiful. But....

SUNDAY. 30TH OF JULY

I maybe never had a flat stomach. Like what other girls have. I maybe never had a flawless and fair skin. Like what other girls have.

Im aint beautiful. Im aint that hot. I dont have sexy curves. I dont have body,just like that shit supermodel. How could they got their body? Shit. Depa tak makan ka. Hahaa.

Sometimes,i wonder a lot. How could u stay with me,for fucking long time. With this ugly and her impolite words. I often wonder.

I know,when distance apart..Sometimes it could be the hard time for us. Always be. Honestly,im tired of messes.

And im just realize. Me..This ugly girl. Even though 'memok' like #guniberas 😂😂😂. But,trust me. Without me,even a day. Even for a few hours. For you,it was suck.

So am i. Without u,i donno who i am. You complete me. Perbezaan tu kan,melengkapi. Hihi.

Em. Rindu chest. Haha. Jap,wipe tears. Thank you,bcoz stay with me. For this few fucking years. Even though i know saye memok huwaaa.

Em. Takpelah. I miss u. Damn much. I really do. Im sorry for everything i have done,if it does hurt you.

Di penghujung Julai nih saya nak memohon ampun dan maaf seikhlas hati saye. Hubby. Time kasih terima saya seadanya. Walaupun saye gemok.

Walaupun saye x lawo macam orang lain..Tapi..Saya sayang awak. Takda orang boleh sayang awak,macam saya buat. Good night.

Australia,Teacher Syairah

17.7.2017
Monday

Harini kelas dengan Cik Essert. I wont tell you about what we have been study about.

But i wanna tell yugais about someone special in my life.

Tonight,my lecture show us a slideshow. An interesting one during his visit to other countries.

He went to Amsterdam,Australia,Dutch. And many more.

Bila tengok Australia. Such a very beautiful country. I wish my feets could step on their ground someday later. Really wish.

With someone i love. Hiks. Gedik tak. Honeymoone ke apa.

Bila tengok Australia. Tetiba teringat Teacher Syairah. My ex teacher when i was in high school at Terengganu.

First time tengok dia,masa tu dia tengah mengajar kelas fom 2 kalau tak silap. Masa tu aku fom 4 and im a new student.

She was pregnant. And my classmates told me,she is so garang. Omg. And right when we passed by her class,i heard her shouted to the kids.

I donno lah tengah belajar poem ke apa kan.

What i remember,i dont like her. Even belum penah belajar dengan dia. Her face,really fierce. And i heard rumours yang dia garang.

And she delivered to her baby few weeks later and took a longg leave.

I dont exactly remember when did the first time she talk to me. But that time,after her return from the long holiday.

I usually got high mark in English test. So i guess she knew me from that. Andd. The first time we talked,i found that she wasnt that bad.

I mean,she was good to me. She speak fully English with me and i replied to her (not so fluent and quiet shy). She told me,come on girl,be confident.

I tried hard.

Months passed by. She being my fav teacher ever. She were so concerned to me. She took me to the school from home,sometimes when i missed the bus with her great Mazda car.

She brought me milk and meal for breakfast,sometimes when we were on our way to the school.

She took me lunch when she were on the way to send me home. She introduced me to the super cool Mee Celup (my fav till now).

She believed in me,when nobody didnt. She took me up when everybody tried to bring me down. She being so kind to me. Historical teacher in my life.

When i was at my old school. Ekcelli. I hate the entire school. Including teachers. I found that everybody was being sooo annoying. I still remember Cikgu Z*bidah.

Omfg. I hate her damn much. Till now.

But when i moved to new school,they changed me. The teachers. I donno when i start to love my teachers at the new school.

Okay. Pasal Australia. What remind me to her. She was graduated from a university from Australia. And amazingly she got 10 A's for her SPM and no wonder she got the scholarship to study there.

But she were soo humble. Not like Cikgu Bedah lengai tu. Poyo nak mampos. Ekk.

So here now. Dear Teacher Syairah..I do miss u damn much. I prayed for u. May Allah gives u the best joy and great happiness in ur life..Till we met again and i will treat u dinner or lunch like wat i used to promise u.