Dari Hati

Bila semalam dia cakap macamtu. Dan aku reply macamtu. Unusual us. Us yang lain macam.

Maki each other. Marah each other. Hate each other.

I noticed that we're both so pathetic. Hardly resisting that we're both still loving each other.

Pathetic sangat bila both struggle very much. Kinda painful sensation in every nerves. Struggle with egoism between love. Both trying to deny that both really want each others.

And biggest denial was when i denied that i wont back to us. I wont get everything back. I wont fix us again.

Aku menafikan semuanya. Aku keraskan hati..I wish he knew that im lying that time. And i know he knows im lying.

I donno wat the hell is going between us. Between anguish,hate and love.

Bagi padu2. Lepastu letak kepala atas bantal. Terus menangis. Sakitnya rasa dalam hati.

Siyesly aku taknak getback? I donno.

Ekcelli aku takut. Takut nak mulakan. Aku sayang dia. Aku rindu dia. Dia yang dah bertahun2 dengan aku. Yang dah jadi apart of me. Half of me..

Dan aku pun tau aku tak cukup kuat nak mulakan something dengan orang baru. To be honest..Im tired.

Tired of begin a relay. Tired of build everything up. And tired of dealing with messes.

Aku letih bergaduh. Letih of sleepless night..Letih dipersalahkan untuk salah yang aku tak buat. And now isnt a right time to talk about getback and u turn segala bagai.

Now is a very2 wrong time for me. Im still healing from the pain. Aku masih sakit. Masih serik. Masih fobia nak mulakan,nak kembali.

Dan aku masih marah. Masih geram. Masih benci.

I donno whether im giving or what. I dont think so. I mean,i need time. Please dont add on anything to make me hate u more.

Please dont tell me something i didnt do. I hate it. It hurt the shit out of me. Its all.

Let time decided everything. Like wat u said. Kalau masa yang memisahkan,nanti masa jugak akan pertemukan semula.

Give me a break. I need a retire. I need some rest. I need time to heal the pain u caused me. I need to fix every damages u caused in my heart..

To be honest,i love u. I miss u a lot..But for now..I cant deal with that.

Aku jadi macam serik. Aku fobia..Aku takut. Aku takut dengan sakit yang sama. Aku taknak menangis lagi untuk sebab yang serupa.

Please. Dont text me if it just only to hurt me more n more. Leave me alone..I love u,but i hate u.

Im sorry. I cant.

Im sorry if one day,im very heal from everything. Im sorry if there were too late for u to win my heart. Im sorry if ur name just a history.

Please. Stop treating me like a shit.