Rindu. Rindu yang teramat.
Bila malam macamni. Im trying my best to sleep well. And something suddenly make me scare.
It haunt me everytime i close my eyes. For few years recently. No one would understand.
And im too ashamed to tell anybody. I kept that as a secret. And im suffering of it every day. My psychology really sick of it.
But i do remember. The pain. The sound. The voice. Long time ago. But it still scared the shit out of me.
My nose bleeding. My finger wounded. The scold. The punch. The kick. Broke me inside out.
For years. Bertahun-tahun. Aku akan terjaga dan menangis bila teringat semua tu. I remember it everyday. It just like a slide. A montage,which i have to watch everyday. No skip.
It scared the shit out of me. I hate everyone.
Dan tiap kali aku sedih. Aku menangis. Aku cuma nak Helmi Ishak ada dekat dengan aku. Aku cuma nak dia dakap aku.
Walaupun dia kurus. Lengan tak sado. Dada tak padat. Tapi selama bertahun-tahun,itu la tempat paling selesa untuk aku heal everything.
Tak sado tak gagah takpa. But he's strong enough to make me feel so comfortable and safe.
And someday..If i died. Take this a lesson. I wish everybody who read will understand what i actually would like to tell.
Pukul,maki anak2 yang bermasalah wouldn't settle anything. Unless they will hate you more and more. Those will never make them respect you.
Unless make them afraid of you. They will never love you. Not even sincerely. Never.
And they will have somebody better than you to love them. They wouldn't believe in you. Never.
And you just ruined.
Broken.
Damaged.
Wounded.
Hurt.
Tortured.
Them inside out. You broke them mentally and physically.
