Menyesal

Every weeks,on Thursday. Im so excited to go home. Like always. Like what i always do.

It does really hurt. Just like other weeks,i planned to go home. To meet him. To meet my mother. To enjoy holiday at my own home.

And last night. I donno why. He told me to not come back.

I know that bila sampai Baling,aku takda sapa nak harapkan untuk ambil aku selain dia.

I try to be strong. Aku cuba berlakon kuat. Acah aku kuat. Aku okay,kononnya. Bila dah petang..

When friends go home. I be like. Damn.

Yon tanya banyak kali aku nak balik ke tak. U know that. I wasnt easy to say no. Aku mereput atas katil.

Buka message dia banyak kali. Untuk sedarkan diri aku. Untuk belajar terima hakikat. Ya Allah. Sakitnya.

At the last aku pun mereput menangis atas katil. Haha.

Menangisi nasib. Taktaulah.

Rasa menyesal merancang itu ini beria. Berangan itu ini. Menyesal.